69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
