Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
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