I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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