I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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