yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Randomize
