I need help removing her.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Randomize