this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
i want to swaddle you in tequila
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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