just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Randomize
