Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Randomize
