Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
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