he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
im on a boat
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