I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
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