Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Randomize
