he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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