dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Randomize
