Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
What a fucking waste of an outfit
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
