There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Randomize
