thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
