As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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