she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
