We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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