I'll bet she douches with gravy.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
I woke up under a house in Key West
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