Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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