You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize
