Already got asked if we're dating
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
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