all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I stole a fireplace last night.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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