I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
