Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
