We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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