are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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