so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Randomize
