$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
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