all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
You ruined the universe
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Randomize
