1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
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