I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Randomize