he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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