I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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