I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Randomize
