just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
