I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
You are the jesus of drinking
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
