Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
