Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Randomize
