laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Randomize
