I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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