if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
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