I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
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