The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
