Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
