Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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