ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Randomize
