i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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