I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Randomize