apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
