i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
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