Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
