Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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