I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Randomize
