So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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