I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
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