I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
