he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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