I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
