Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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