Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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