lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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