Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Randomize
