How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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