i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
