He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
