Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Randomize
