It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize