Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
you're hired as official boob wrangler
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Randomize
